


The Fangs and Claws I Use to Protect You

by Liza_Taylor



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animal Transformation, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Post-Blue Lions Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Ship Tease, Werewolf, Werewolf Sylvain Gautier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23145256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza_Taylor/pseuds/Liza_Taylor
Summary: During his time at Garreg Mach, Sylvain was inflicted with a werewolf curse.  Bernadetta was able to help him control it through her close friendship with him.Five years later, after the war, Felix approaches Bernadetta who had hidden herself away from the war and fighting begging her to help Sylvain. Forced to fight in the war in his werewolf form, Sylvain had lost all connection to his human self and now has completely given himself over to the beast inside. If Bernadetta cannot turn him back, or return him to his senses, Sylvain will need to be put down. She doesn't know if she can do it or not but she has to try right?Post Azure Moon Route.Ship Tease between Bernadetta/Sylvain(but can also be taken as a close platonic friendship).
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier & Bernadetta von Varley, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 18
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another random idea I had for Sylvain and Bernadetta cause I just need more content for them, haha.
> 
> I also have a few plot bunnies on how to make this a longer work but I'm still on the fence whether I should do it or not, especially since it'll be a lot "darker" than how this one-shot presents it to be. This would be considered the prologue with the main story happening post game events.  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~  
> EDIT:3/16/20: Now going to be a full blown story because why not!

_Prologue_

Bernadetta hurried through the forest. The branches tugged on her hair and the undergrowth cut into her thighs but she ignored the pain and kept moving.

“Sylvain?” she called. The mid-day sunlight filtered through the thick trees, casting ominous shadows here and there.

Felix and Sylvain had been on a scouting mission in the forest. The local villagers had complained about wolves threatening their livestock. Normally Garreg Mach’s officer academy would not get involved in something like this but the reports stated one wolf was bigger and stronger than the rest, more of a monster than a regular animal

Byleth had thought this would be an easy mission and sent the duo.

Everyone had thought it would be an easy mission.

That was until Felix had stumbled home, bleeding heavily from multiple claw wounds on his body and barely able to stay on his horse. After a quick trip to the infirmary for healing, he gave a report on what occurred. They had found the wolves in the forest and dispatched them. The leader was larger than the rest, the body more human-like in appearance. It had managed to bite Sylvain before they were able to kill it. Neither of them had thought nothing of it, at least, for ten minutes until Sylvain started to transform.

It was so sudden and so jarring that he got a few hits on Felix before the swordsman realized what was happening. Felix was able to flee and get home but it had taken a lot out of him to do so.

Hearing the story, as an avid reader of all the books in the monastery library, Bernadetta recognized immediately what was happening. Sylvain had most likely gotten bitten by a werewolf, the curse being transferred to him. The books varied in accounts of how the werewolf curse worked but many spoke about how a person who “loved” the person transformed could shift them back. A few books specially stated it meant only lovers but others spoke about how parents or grandparents or even close friends could cause the same effect.

Maybe it was a little presumptuous of her but Bernadetta knew Sylvain cares for her, like she did him. Nothing of a romantic nature but still close enough that they knew each other’s secrets. She knew what kind of person his brother was and he was aware of the training her father had put her through.

Felix, being unaware of this being a possible way to temper the curse for a time, probably thought attacking him was the only way. While everyone discussed on what to do, Bernadetta spoke up with her plan. Of course everyone looked at her in shock, little Bernie actually coming up with a strategy and speaking up in a meeting?

At first Byleth was hesitant to letting Bernadetta go on her own but Bernadetta refused to back down. In the end Byleth relented, with the condition that if Bernadetta didn’t come back in a few hours, a party would be sent to try to apprehend Sylvain and kill him if it wasn’t possible.

No pressure right?

“Maybe the curse isn’t activate anymore…maybe Sylvain is wandering the forest lost and confused…” she murmured. A few accounts stated the cursed person would only be transformed during the night of a full moon. Others state the three days leading up to and three days after were the times the curse was activate and there were even a few that said the person would be transformed forever.

Bernadetta really hoped it was one of the first two.

“Sylvain?” she called again. Her fingers gripped her bow tightly. She wasn’t planning on using it but there were other dangers in the forest besides possibly her best friend.

Hearing a crashing noise behind her, she turned. She was expecting to see Sylvain but instead saw a large brown bear. It rose on its hind legs and roared at her.

Darn it Bernie! She had been so focused on finding Sylvain that she ignored the signs of other animals living here!

She pulled an arrow from her quiver and nocked her bow as the bear lumbered towards her.

She rolled out of the way and fired her arrow. It cut into the bear’s side but it was obviously a shallow injury.

The bear snarled and whirled around and Bernadetta responded with another arrow.

Another shallow injury.

The bear was much faster than Bernadetta thought, the claws almost catching her in the head as she ducked under it. Like always, her instincts to flee came in handy as she bolted away from the bear and up the nearest tree. The bear was at the bottom in a moment and it looked up at her and roared.

She scrambled out onto a branch, gripped it with her thighs and fired another arrow. 

This one sliced the bear’s ear, but instead of making it want to flee, the bear became even angrier and it slammed its paws against the tree. Bernadetta screamed and clutched the tree branch, hearing a dangerous crack.

Another slam into the tree.

Another crack.

This was bad. Really bad.

Could she try to jump out of the tree as it fell? Maybe but she might also break a leg. The bear reared back and was about to hit it again when a howl erupted through the forest.

A large creature erupted from the undergrowth and tackled the bear. Bernadetta watched from her tree in shock as this creature tore into the bear’s side with long claws, the teeth cutting through the hide.

It was an incredibly unfair fight, especially when the creature’s jaw found the bear’s neck and ripped through. With a loud growl, the creature began tearing into the bear’s flesh, eating it with loud slurping noises.

Bernadetta slowly made her way down the tree. It looked like a wolf, stretched out to ten feet tall with a human-like body shape. The front arms had human-like fingers with sharp claws, which it was using to dig through the bear’s body. The muzzle was coated in blood although it was hard to tell as it was covered in dark red fur.

Fur that was the same color as Sylvain’s hair.

“Sylvain?” she asked softly.

The ears flicked and it turned towards her, the brown eyes familiar to her. It growled but didn’t make a move as Bernadetta slowly approached.

“Sylvain, it’s me,” she whispered. “It’s fine, everything is going to be alright.”

He growled again and shook his head.

No attempt to attack her and no attempt to flee. This was good. “You’re fine, you can turn back, it’s okay.” She was right next to him now and the smell of damp fur and wild animal invaded her nose. She focused on his eyes, trying not to think about the sharp teeth in that jaw that was barely a few inches from her face. If he swiped out, she was done for.

“Sylvain, you can turn back, it’s okay. Felix is alright too. He told us what happened.” Shakily, she reached out with a hand towards his face.

The fur was coarse and slightly sticky from the blood. “Just breathe Sylvain, everything will be fine.”

A small whine came from deep in his throat and his eyes started to take on a bit of sadness to them.

She lifted her other hand and set it on the other side of his face. “It’ll be okay Sylvain, I read this in a book. You can turn back, it’ll be fine.”

His bloody hands reached for her and he slowly wrapped his arms around her in a hug. She shifted her hands from his face to around his neck as she hugged him tightly back, her face buried into the fur of his shoulder. After a couple of seconds, she could feel him changing. His body was shrinking, the fur receding.

Before long, Bernadetta was hugging a human Sylvain.

“Bernie, you always come true when it counts,” he murmured, his voice slightly hoarse like he hadn’t used it in a long time.

“No problem,” she said with a smile, pulling back.

And then realized a new problem. Sylvain was naked. Completely naked. Obviously his clothes had not transformed with the rest of him.

“I feel like my head was slammed with a hammer.” He clutched the side of his head and then pulled his hand away, realizing it was covered in blood. “Alright, that’s a bit gross.” He looked down at the destroyed bear carcass and then touched his mouth. “Ugh, I think I’m going to be sick.” He doubled over and Bernadetta rubbed a few circles on his back while he tried to control the nausea. 

When it was finally under control, he seemed to be very aware of his current state of dress. He yelped and jumped away from Bernie, his hands covering his privates. “Bernie! Why didn’t you say anything!”

“Well, uh, you seemed a little out of it so I was more worried about you than…well…you know. Why do you think I was so focused on your face?”

“Well cause I’m handsome of course but ack!” Sylvain’s face was bright red as he went behind a tree for cover and peered out at her. “You didn’t see it right?”

“…Of course not.”

“You totally did.”

Bernadetta winced, now her face taking on a shade of red. “I….I’m sorry.”

“No, it isn’t your fault...”

She cleared her throat. “So, uh, do you remember anything from your time as a wolf?”

“I do but it’s weird. There’s like a filter over it almost? Like I know it was me but at the same time not. It was separate to me? It’s hard to explain. But you fixed it so we’re good now right?”

“Well, I don’t think so. The curse is probably still on you. So we still need to break that but at least we know how to turn you back and keep it controlled for now?”

Sylvain stared at her. “You’re kidding me. You mean I’m going to turn into a wolf again?”

“Maybe? It depends on the type of werewolf curse. Considering it’s been a day since the full moon it’s probably the type where you transform for three days. I don’t know how if it will activate again or if I need to be around you to make sure it doesn’t happen…I’m sorry Sylvain, I don’t have many answers for you…”

Sylvain shook his head. “It’s okay Bernie. I know you did your best. But we’ll figure it out…right?” He looked at her hopefully.

She nodded. “Definitely. I know the professor and everyone else will help too.” Oh crap, she was going to need to head back soon before they send in a party after her.

“What’s with that face Bernie? Everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. We should probably head back though otherwise they’re going to send more people in to look for you.”

“Oh true.” He looked down. “Now I have no shame but even this is a little much…”

Bernadetta took off her uniform jacket, happy that she always wore a hoodie under it. “Uh, it isn’t much but?”

“Bernie, you don’t have to…”

“It’s okay,” she said quickly. “I can always get another uniform.” She walked closer to him and held out the jacket, careful to focus only on his face.

He took it with a thanks and put it on around the waist, using the sleeves to tie it tight. “Seriously, I owe you big time for this Bernie.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You said Felix was fine right?”

She nodded. “Yes, wounded but he was patched up so he’s fine.”

Sylvain sighed. “That’s good.”

“We’ll figure it out Sylvain and even if it takes a while, at least we know I can turn you back if needed.”

“Yeah, thanks for that Bernie.” He was about to reach out and hug her but winced and pulled back. “Okay, let’s hurry back so I can get some clothes on, this is super weird and the ground is really hurting my feet.”


	2. Chapter 2

When Felix arrived at the Count Varley estate, asking to meet with her, Bernadetta didn’t know what to think. It had been five years since she had last seen the fellow member of the blue lion house and the war had obviously changed him. He always had a cold, aloof demeanor but it seemed to have ben tempered into a finely honed blade. He sat on the edge of a chair, obviously poised to get up at a moment’s notice and use the sword resting against the chair arm.

For a moment he seemed taken aback before shaking his head slightly. “You look different.”

“Uh yeah,” she stammered. In the past five years she had finally got her hair under control and wore better fitted clothing. With her father being killed during Edelgard’s uprising, most of the responsibility had fallen to her. Of course, she had focused on remaining hidden when Edelgard or Dimitri’s army came knocking, so she never got involved with the actual war between the two factions, well three if the Leicster Alliance was included. After the war ended with Edelgard’s death and Dimitri taking over as king of Fodlan with Byleth at his side as his closest advisor, Bernadetta had come out of hiding and focused on getting the property under her name back to normal. Although many of the Adrestian nobles were removed from their position, due to Bernadetta’s history with the blue lions, she was given a pass and allowed to keep her land and function as normal.

Her reputation of being a coward and always hiding in her room worked well to her advantage.

However, she didn’t know how well it would work now with Felix regarding her like he was.

“Uh, the tea is good,” she stammered, gesturing to the cups one of the maid had brought. “It’s the four spice blend, I remember you liked it back when we were in the academy.”

He looked at her in surprise. “You remember that?” Shrugging, he picked up the tea cup and took a sip. “Huh, well that, maybe you do pay a bit of attention to things after all.”

Bernadetta winced as she picked up her own tea cup and took a sip, barely tasting the spices. Her anxiety was starting to rise the longer they sat here. What did he want? Why was Felix visiting her personally? Was she in trouble? Did she forget to pay taxes? Wait no, she definitely signed off on those last week.

Felix put down the cup gently and looked up at her, his eyes surprisingly soft. “You remember the werewolf curse on Sylvain?”

“Uh yes?” What a weird question to ask.

“Are you still friends with him now? Do you think you can still be friends with him?”

She blinked, not sure how to take the question. “Well we haven’t talked in a few years,” she said softly. Their last correspondence was a few years ago. Sylvain said he was going to try and help get Dimitri back on track and help the fight against Edelgard’s army. By that point it was too risky to send a message back so she had been unable to respond. Now that the war was over though, she wanted to send a message to the Gautier estate but a part of her was afraid to do so. What if he didn’t like her anymore? What if he thought of her as a coward and wanted nothing to do with her since she didn’t help with the war? Those thoughts prevented her from putting the pen to the paper.

“Yes, I’m aware of that.” Felix cracked his fingers. “Why didn’t Ingrid or the professor do this? I’m not good at this kind of stuff,” he grumbled.

“Did you find a cure for the werewolf curse?” she asked tentatively. That was one of the things she worried about. During their time at the academy, Sylvain and her were able to get his curse under control enough that he was able to stay human if she was close by or keep his human mind if he shifted if she wasn’t. The war, of course, threw all the plans to find ways to break his curse out the window.

One of the ways she staved off guilt was reminding herself that he knew how to handle his curse now. He was able to keep his mind intact and he could lean on Felix, Ingrid, Dimitri and the professor for support.

“No, we did not.” Felix grimaced. “In fact we might have made it worse.”

“What?”

Felix’s hands curled into fists. “The boar wasn’t himself for most of the war. He was cruel, ruthless even, his own purpose to get revenge on Edelgard. Sylvain was an amazing asset for him. Someone who could turn into a powerful and fast beast, able to rip his enemies to shreds? At first it was only in short bouts but the boar demanded more and more of Sylvain.

“He asked Sylvain to fight harder and harder, the six days Sylvain stayed shifted became longer. We also noticed he started…losing what made him human. During the battle at gronder field, it was like he had become something else, something more monstrous and it took almost ten of our men to hold him down until he could calm down and return to his senses.

“The professor advised the boar to stop using Sylvain like this, obviously it was affecting him, changing him inside but the boar wouldn’t listen and demanded we push Sylvain harder. And by the time the war ended and the boar had snapped out of his terrible mental state…”

Felix’s look of desperation made Bernadetta stiffen. She never expected to see such a face on someone like him. “Bernie, we’ve tried everything. You’re the only one left who could possibly bring him back.” He stood, put a hand over his heart and bowed low to her. “Please Bernie. Help Sylvain.”

“I…I don’t think I can,” she stammered. Hearing all that, she wanted to be sick. All that had happened to Sylvain and she had been hiding from the world, waiting for this war to go away. “I haven’t seen him in so long, he probably forgot about me.”

“He didn’t. Back when he was still able to shift back into a person, he talked about how when the war was over, he was going to find you so you can read him a story. Something about a badass princess? That’s how he justified it. That he was using this curse to end the war so you would be safe so he could read your stories again.”

She clutched the fabric of her shirt over her heart, still not really believing it.

“Bernie, if I can’t bring you with me to help, they’re going to put him down. He’s too dangerous the way he is.”

They were going to put him down? Her mind retreated to the boy she remembered from her time at the academy. He didn’t want to hurt anyone and he was frightened of the wolf creature he became. She had helped him get it under control and all of their work appeared to have been tossed out the window. However, if she managed to do it once, there was a chance she could do it again. Right?

“Alright,” she whispered. “I’ll do it.”

Felix’s shoulders dropped as the tension seemed to release out of him. “Thank you Bernie,” he whispered.

“Don’t thank me yet, I could always fail.”

“You won’t,” he said. “Do you need help packing your things?”

***

Sylvain’s prison, as Felix put it, was deep in Faerghus territory. Or what used to be considered Faerghus territory. The weather was much colder here and seeing that Bernadetta didn’t have clothing that was suited to the colder temperature, Felix bought her a couple sets of fur-lined clothing in the first town they stopped in.

“It’s an investment for Sylvain’s future,” replied Felix when Bernadetta tried to offer him money in exchange.

Sylvain’s prison was within a small, walled fort. It was small enough that only about thirty people lived here, mostly soldiers that guarded the local countryside from monsters and wild animals along with the staff to keep the place running. Felix was apparently the commander in charge, which was per Felix’s insistence. Yes, he was a duke with his own land to take care of, but Ingrid was helping out with that so Felix could spend more time here but he had to go back every few weeks to make sure everything was running smoothly.

Bernadetta was given one of the best rooms in the fort. Like everything else, the walls and floor were made of stone but her room had beautifully embroidered tapestries on the walls to trap in heat along with a large fireplace. The bed was also piled high with blankets.

“I remember Sylvain commenting on your love for having like fifteen blankets so.” Felix shrugged.

Felix must have been really banking on Bernadetta coming here to help Sylvain. This room was set up perfectly in her taste and since they had been traveling together, he must have had this room planned for her.

“I don’t know if you are tired from the trip and want to do it tomorrow but…” Felix hovered in the doorway.

“I want to see Sylvain now,” she replied. There was no point in getting comfortable here if she could solve this problem right away.

Felix led her out of the building and into a large stone tower in the center of the fort, a clock face on every side, the time stuck at ten o’clock. “This used to be the clock tower but we needed to modify it so it doesn’t work anymore.” He waves aside the two guards that stood on either side of the entrance.

He stepped up before Bernadetta and pushed open the door. “There’s a line on the floor. Don’t go past that, he’ll try and grab you.”

“Uh okay,” she stammered. She stepped into the space, and stopped, giving her eyes a moment to adjust to the dim light coming from the torches on the wall. It was a large stone room, half of it being a large jail cell, the bars close together so only an arm could reach through. The first thing that struck her was the smell. The smell of must and fur and iron. The smell of the wild, something feral that reminded Bernadetta of the first time she stumbled upon Sylvain transformed, only much stronger.

The second thing she noticed was the beast in the jail cell. A large hulking mass, close to twelve feet tall. A humanoid wolf, the limbs long and muscular, the fur most likely dark red. A low growl emitted from the werewolf’s throat and the fangs in its curled back lips glinted in the torchlight. The eyes though. There was nothing of the Sylvain Bernadetta knew in them. Those eyes were soft, gentle, eyes that read her stories with glee and would lighten when she walked into the room. These eyes were monstrous, full of bloodlust.

“Sylvain?” whispered Bernadetta. She took a few steps forward and spotted the line Felix had mentioned. “Sylvain, it’s me. It’s Bernie.”

No response but another angry growl. His hand reached through the bars, faster than Bernadetta could blink.

She yelped and fell backwards in surprise as the arms were much longer than she thought as he swiped at her. The line was well placed. If she had stopped any closer, he would have cut her with his claws.

Another angry growl and Sylvain backed up and slammed his body into the bars. The metal echoed against the impact but they did not move from Sylvain hitting them.

Shaking, she scrambled back to her feet and raced out of the tower, the warm sunlight barely doing anything to stop the shakes that had overtaken her.

“Yeah,” said Felix, walking up to her. Behind him, the guards shut the door, the clangs of Sylvain’s body hitting the metal bars fading to background noise.

“He didn’t recognize me…” Bernadetta wrapped her arms around herself. Even when he transformed the first time, Sylvain had not attacked her.

“He doesn’t recognize anyone anymore,” grimanced Felix. “However, I know you’ll be able to help him Bernie. You’ll figure something out, especially with all those books you read.”

“Yeah…” she stammered. This already felt like a hopeless endeavor and she felt like it hit her again tenfold. However what was the other option? Sylvain was going to die if she couldn’t help him. And she still remembered Felix’s words about Sylvain wanting to read her work again. She had even brought the story with her along with a few others she had written. She had to try, for his sake. Her last memory was when Edelgard stormed the monastery with her army. He had given her a quick, tight hug before he pushed her away, telling her to flee.

Like the coward she was, she fled.

What if she stayed? What if she had stood by his side back then? Would this have happened then or would everything be different?

Or perhaps would nothing have changed at all?

***

_He leaned back in his cell, shoulders and head throbbing from slamming into those bars over and over again._

_A new human today._

_A girl._

_She had been shocked to see him, the fear flowing off her body in waves. All he wanted to do was reach out and tear her head from her body and suck out her blood. He would have been able to do it too if those cursed bars didn’t stop him._

_He wanted to eat warm flesh. The only thing he was given here was cold chunks of meat. It was enough to sate his hunger but not his thirst for the hunt._

_The girl would have satisfied that. If only she would come closer._

_Just a little bit closer and she would be his to eat._

***

Bernadetta always had difficulty falling asleep in a new environment and most of the night she spent tossing and turning, snatching an hour or two of sleep here and there. When the sun’s rays finally started peeking through the window, she got up, deciding it was an acceptable hour to be awake.

The fort was already active, the kitchen bustling. She hovered in the doorway, unsure of what to do with herself. It didn’t feel right to eat in the mess hall with the soldiers.

The cook, a short woman with a no-nonsense face, glanced in her direction and then did a double take. “What can we do for you?” She put her hands on her hips and her eyes brightened. “Are you here to feed the wolf?”

“Feed him?” she stammered.

“You aren’t? I thought you were here to help return the wolf back to normal.”

“I am…but uh, I was here to get some food for myself…it’s okay, I totally know how to cook so uh I was just wondering which ingredients I was allowed to use…”

The cook blinked and then walked over to the pot on the stove and poured out something into a bowl. “This is my kitchen and I’m the only one allowed to cook in here.” She opened a cabinet and sprinkled something into the bowl before bringing the bowl over to Bernadetta. “Here you go dear, breakfast. And you get a little something extra for being a sweetie.” She winked.

Bernadetta looked down at the bowl and saw it was porridge with brown sugar and cinnamon sprinkled on top. “Thank you,” she stammered.

“You can sit on those crates over there if you don’t want to deal with the mess hall. Totally understandable since those soldiers can be quite loud at times. They always think they’re so special for going through the officers academy.”

“Oh, well uh, I went through it myself,” she stammered as she sat on the crates and began eating her breakfast.

“Did you now?”

“I wasn’t very good at the fighting part of it.” The sweet porridge slid down her throat and she could barely taste it. The guilt was piling up on her. If she had only fought during that war instead of hiding like a coward.

“Well, not everyone is a fighter. Here you go dear, a cup of tea to warm you up.” After giving Bernadetta a porcelain cup and the sugar jar, she turned and barked a few orders to her staff and the kitchen picked up energy again.

It was interesting to watch this small woman take command of this kitchen. Most of the staff looked older than she was or were much taller. A few soldiers peeked into the kitchen but they were easily scared away by her waving her ladle at them in a threatening matter.

“Don’t mess with the people that prepare your food.” The cook winked to Bernadetta. Her eyes shifted to the left. “There you are. The usual?”

Bernadetta looked over and startled, realizing it was Felix. He seemed taken aback as well seeing Bernadetta there. “Yeah, the usual,” he said to the cook before focusing on Bernadetta. “I was looking for you in your room.”

“I get up early,” she stammered.

“Apparently.” He shrugged. “Well whatever. It’s feeding time for Sylvain, I thought you wanted to come?”

“Oh, sure.” She scrambled to her feet and debated if she wanted to step into the busy kitchen to get to the sink.

“I’ll take care of it dear, just leave it on the counter.” The cook handed Felix a large slab of meat wrapped in parchment paper. “We’re almost out, best to go hunting soon.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Felix said curtly before heading towards Sylvain’s cell at a fast pace. Bernadetta scrambled to keep up with him. As they walked through the halls, it was interesting to see the people working in the fort would stop and bow towards Felix or give him a salute in acknowledgement. Oh wait, maybe they were bowing to her? She was a countess after all.

“Was your room warm enough or should more blankets be sent up?”

“Huh?” Bernadetta startled and let out a small yelp at Felix’s look of annoyance. “My room was fine,” she said quickly as the question finally caught up to her. “It was quite warm, thank you.”

“Good,” he said curtly.

They stepped into the courtyard and Bernadetta pulled her coat tighter as the cold wind hit her in the face. It was only the beginning of autumn and she was already not liking how cold it was. If this was autumn, how bad was winter here?

During one of their conversations at the academy, Sylvain had mentioned that they had at least one blizzard a year, the snow piling up so high that Bernadetta would be buried in it. She wasn’t sure if that was a teasing comment or not as Sylvain said afterwards that he would dig her out no matter what.

Reaching the tower, the guards stepped to the side to let Bernadetta and Felix through. In the weak light, it took her a moment to find Sylvain in the dark cell. He was near the back but as they approached the safety line, he shifted and moved closer to the bars, those cold eyes glaring at them.

Felix stopped at the line and uncovered the meat. Sylvain growled, the sound low and rumbling.

With an underhand toss, Felix threw the meat in Sylvain’s direction. The werewolf’s arm shot out, catching the meat in mid-air. The piece was awkward sized, too big to get through the bars but Sylvain’s muzzle was able to make it through and he tore at the meat until it was small enough to pull into the cell and he went to the back corner of the cell, the sound of tearing flesh, crunching, and loud gulps strange to Bernadetta’s ears.

Sylvain had always been a neat eater, it was one of the things he prided himself on. It even extended to the snack eating in Bernadetta’s room. He would always make sure the crumbs were swept up so ants wouldn’t crawl into her room.

“I need to take care of things, will you be fine?”

“Uh yeah,” she stammered.

Nodding, Felix left and Bernadetta focused back on Sylvain. He had finished his meal and he padded over to a corner of his cell where a small pool of water was. After some squinting, she realized the water was dripping from above and collecting there. The cell itself also wasn’t as barren as she originally thought. A pile of hay was set up in a spot, most likely as a makeshift bed. The corner opposite the water hole was a small hole. She wondered what that was for until Sylvain used it and she realized it was the privy.

Despite the fact he was a wolf and didn’t appear to have any shame about it, she had to look away, the second hand embarrassment too strong.

It appeared that Felix had done his best to make this place as comfortable as possible for Sylvain.

“Sylvain, you think you recognize me today? It’s me Bernie,” she asked tentatively. She stepped up to the line on the floor. Sylvain moved closer to the bars and he growled low. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Obviously a warning, do not get any closer.

“Okay, that’s fine. I’ll wait here then…” She sat on the ground behind the line and Sylvain just stared at her with those unnerving eyes. Less than a minute later, she was the first to look away and Sylvain let out another growl before padding over to his hay bed and lying down in it. Curiously, she got up and stepped up to the line and Sylvain scrambled back to his paws and approached the bars with that low warning growl.

This was going to take a while wasn’t it?


	3. Chapter 3

It had almost been a week and Bernadetta felt she was still at the starting point. The first couple of days Felix would accompany her to Sylvain’s morning and afternoon feedings but then it became Bernadetta’s job. At first she was nervous about throwing the meat at him. What if she aimed too low? However, she didn’t need to worry as if she threw it over the floor line, and he missed catching it in the air, he had no qualms about reaching through the bars and pulling the meat towards him. Besides feeding him, Bernadetta stayed near his cell for a couple hours every day. She talked to him about random memories of their time at the academy, hoping to spark some memory of the boy she knew but he had not warmed up to her over the past week.

She arrived at the kitchen to eat her breakfast and pick up Sylvain’s meal and was surprised to find Felix in the kitchen. Cook had the chunk of meat on the counter and was injecting some green liquid into it with a syringe.

“Oh, there you are Bernie.” Cook gestured with a nod of her head towards the bowl near the spot where Bernadetta usually took breakfast. “Food’s there for you.”

“What’s going on?” she asked as she shoveled the porridge down her throat.

“It’s Sylvain’s bath day,” said Felix.

Wait what, bath?

“How are you able to give him a bath?” Sylvain lashed out at anyone that got too close. She couldn’t imagine anyone being able to step over that line to bath him.

“That’s what this is for.” Cook put the syringe away. “Just a little bit of ground of herbs and he’s asleep for hours.”

Bernadetta’s eyes widen. They had to drug him? “And he eats it?”

“Why do you think he didn’t get his second meal yesterday? When he’s hungrier, he’s more willing to eat whatever we put in front of him.” Felix’s expression darkened as he stared at the meat. His attention flickered to Bernadetta. “Anyway, you want to help? You won’t be able to do much with Sylvain today anyway.”

“I’ll come.”

Bernadetta put down her bowl and followed Felix into the yard. Buckets of water were being brought into the yard by a few of the soldiers along with soap and some carried brooms and hay.

Sylvain was obviously hungry and antsy as he paced back and forth in the cell, his attention drawing immediately to the meat in Felix’s hands. His jaw opened, saliva pouring onto the stone floor, a low growl rumbling from his throat. Felix didn’t seem bothered by this as he tossed the meat at Sylvain. Like Felix predicted, Sylvain didn’t wait, his teeth digging into the meat, ripping through and devouring it faster than he usually did. He got through about half of it before his movements slowed and he eyelids drooped. Without much ceremony, he fell onto the ground with a loud thud, a rumbling snore emitting from his body.

Felix reached under his shirt and pulled out a metal key and walked to the door of the cell and unlocked it. Bernadetta tensed, expecting Sylvain to leap to his feet, revealing that he was faking everything and rip Felix apart. Instead Felix and three of the soldiers picked up Sylvain’s body and carried him out into the crisp morning air.

Bernadetta followed close behind as they deposited Sylvain near the buckets of water. Felix rolled up his sleeves, kicked off his shoes and pulled up the legs of his pants before grabbing a bucket and throwing the water onto Sylvain’s russet red fur. 

Curiously, none of the other soldiers helped. Many returned to their stations while others went into the cell with the mops, brooms and hay and Bernadetta got the sense they were going to clean out the cell.

“Do you need help?” she asked tentatively, approaching Felix.

“If you want to.” Felix shrugged. “I’ve always done it myself.”

Bernadetta rolled up the sleeves of her coat and kicked off her shoes and joined Felix in washing the dirt and grime off Sylvain’s fur, using the soap to get out the stubborn caked on blood or other things that Bernadetta didn’t want to think too much about.

It was odd to think about, but with him asleep, Sylvain looked more like an overly large wolf than a werewolf. Something fluffy yet powerful that would protect a princess or guard a fairy queen. Also clean, his fur was soft and it reminded her of the past. Near the beginning of him being inflicted with the curse, it was very hard for him to maintain human form so he spent most of the time under the curse in his wolf form. Bernadetta stayed close to him since she was able to help him keep his human senses as he was not good at doing it on his own. There was many a time when Sylvain sat on the floor and Bernadetta leaned into his flank and he would put his fluffy tail over her while she worked on homework or read him one of her stories.

Wait. Her stories.

“Something wrong?” asked Felix. He was holding Sylvain’s jaw open while Bernadetta went in with a pick to get rid of all the plaque on his teeth.

“I just thought of something I could do to help Sylvain. I think I got everything out of his teeth.”

Felix shut the jaw and with some help from Bernadetta, they turned him over and began working on cleaning his belly and arms. While Felix focused on cleaning his fur, Bernadetta cleaned under the claw-like fingernails. The nails were definitely sharper than what they were in school, he was also definitely more muscular. These were the hands that tried to swipe at her during their first meeting. However these were also the hands that hugged her tight when he was frightened of the wolf he had become. But how much damage had been done to other since the time she had last held this hand?

“Should I finish up?”

“No, sorry.” Bernadetta focused on the task at hand. “Sorry, I’m just….thinking.”

“Thinking huh?” After a minute of silence, Felix spoke up, “Sometimes I think about what if I pushed the boar more against using Sylvain like that. Or I could convince Sylvain to not use his werewolf form as he did. Maybe things would have been different.”

Bernadetta couldn’t contain her surprise. “I feel guilty too,” she said softly. “If I had not hid during the war…maybe…even if he was fighting in wolf form…”

“Yeah, you might have been able to keep him from giving over to the wolf completely…but at the same time who knows? Ingrid and I were pretty good at helping him out in the beginning but the boar kept asking more of him. More and more until this happened. I don’t think there was much you could do for him yourself. But he fought as much as he could as well…

“Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I’ve not given up on him and you shouldn’t either.”

She nodded. “I won’t. I need to see if my idea would work. I brought a lot of my stories with me.”

“Your stories huh?” Felix’s mouth twitched with a hint of a smile. “He always liked those. Maybe that will work.”

“I hope so,” whispered Bernadetta.

***

_Again they had changed his home._

_The smells were different, clean now. Like his own fur. Those people had poured water here, changed the hay bedding, the pool of clear water now full again. His scent was everywhere in this place but wasn’t strong enough and he spent a good portion of time rubbing against every wall and piece of the floor to get his scent over it. This was his place, his home._

_He did not know why the meat sometimes made him sleepy but he was usually too hungry to care. However, whenever he woke up again, he hated how his fur smelled faintly of flowers, his mouth feeling odd, like something had been removed from his teeth. And his claws! They were usually shorter, the pointed ends not as sharp as before. He hated it! He hated how they did this to him every now and then._

_He paused in his pacing of the cell as the door opened, letting in sunlight._

_The girl was back. She walked up to the cell, not close enough for him to reach through and rip her head off though, and threw a piece of meat at him._

_He grabbed it out of the air and began eating it vigorously. It wasn’t fresh, nothing was a fresh kill but it was meat, it was something that would keep him alive._

_The girl cleared her throat. “I thought we could try something new Sylvain.” She backed up so she was near one of the always lit torches on the wall and sat down. She rested something in her lap, something made from trees based on the scent he got from it._

_“It’s a story I wrote a long time ago, the story that you actually stumbled upon. So uh, I hope you enjoy it Sylvain. This is the story of a princess, she wasn’t an especially good princess, she was quiet and soft-spoken and hated speaking in front of crowds. She always failed in her princess training and made her father, the king, very upset. However, she was a princess and she had a secret of her own, she was an amazing warrior, with a blade that shone with every color in existence…”_

_At first the girl’s words grated on his ears. She was talking a lot. More than usual and he paced a lot more, as if trying to escape her words. However, the more she spoken, the more he quieted. Something about this story was familiar, it tugged something in the back of his mind and it quieted a bit of the rage stored in his chest. He laid down in the cell, the closest he could get to her, his ears pointed in her direction to pick up every part of the story. His eyes were half closed, the lull of her words and the “story” being told, calming and comforting._

_“And then she went on another adventure with her newfound best friend.” The girl closed the thing in her lap and cleared her throat._

_He sat up and eyed her. That was all? There was no more?_

_“I’m sorry but I only brought one with me today.” Her words were off, hoarse. She rubbed her neck. “Got to bring more water tomorrow.”_

_He let out a sharp whine. He wanted more. Whatever that was, he wanted more._

_“Tomorrow Sylvain, it’s getting late.” She gestured to the open door. The sun’s rays were weaker now and he could smell night coming on the breeze. The girl usually left earlier. He also realized his stomach was rumbling and he spotted some meat on the other side of the bars. He had been so focused on listening to the girl’s story that he had not realized his second meal of the day was brought to him._

_He padded over to the meal and grabbed it through the bars and began eating, barely registering the girl leaving._

***

The stories were doing something. She wasn’t sure what but he seemed to enjoy them. He always looked peaceful, sitting down as close as he could to her, his ears pointed towards her, eyes closed. Sometimes she thought he had fallen asleep but if she stopped, he would lift his head and whine or look at her annoyed. He only seemed satisfied when she reached the end of the story or it was late enough that she had to go back to her room to sleep. If she tried to end a story early, he would growl and pace back and forth, only calming if she continued reading.

It was real progress, the soldiers that came in to give him his evening meal stated this was the most calm they had ever seen Sylvain and even Felix had to agree. Bernadetta wished she could be that hopeful as she realized she was going to run into a problem soon. She was running out of stories to read. One time she tried to bring him a book from the fort’s library and read him a story from that but he growled at her and paced until she began reciting one of her own.

“Why did you have to be such a superfan of my work Sylvain?” she grumbled.

During the evening hours before bed, she began work on a few newer pieces so she would have something to read to Sylvain once everything she read was finished up. Felix had been nice enough, realizing her dilemma, sent a runner to her estate to grab her collection of works to bring back. This helped give her more time in creating new works but it also meant she had to read a lot of her older works, works that now made her cringe from the terrible usage of language or horrible similes and metaphors. However, despite her gripes, Sylvain seemed to enjoy those just the same as her other writing.

Another thing she was trying was to slowly moving closer to Sylvain’s cell as she read. Now she was reading on the line, a candle besides her to give her enough light to read by. She finished today’s work, a story about a hedgehog that wanted to grow up to be a bird(she had been a child when she wrote it) and closed the book. “Did you like that one Sylvain?”

He laid near the bars of the cage, his head resting on his forearms. He stared at her and blinked slowly, reminding her more of a dog than a dangerous wolf.

Perhaps...maybe?

This was a stupid idea. A stupid idea in many ways but he had shown so much progress recently. He was so calm in her presence and when he ate his breakfast meat, he ate slower, his focus being more on Bernadetta. His tail would wag as she sat on the ground and got the book ready for today’s story.

She rested her notebook on the ground next to her and slowly got to her feet. “Sylvain…please don’t hurt me okay?” Taking a deep breath she crossed the line.

She waited for a moment or two, her nerves and legs ready to throw herself backwards if he moved towards her. Only he didn’t. He stayed in place, his tail moving back and forth, his eyes watching her.

She took another tentative step towards him and then another. He didn’t move, his ears didn’t shift back, he didn’t show teeth. Sylvain just lay there, watching her.

Now she was right before the cell bars, the smell of wild animal invading her nose. Sylvain was barely a couple inches from her. He could swipe out and kill her before she even could do anything about it. But still he didn’t move.

Hesitantly, she bit her lip and reached out with a hand towards him, her movement slow and deliberate, giving him every chance to warn her that it wasn’t okay. Only he didn’t. He sat still as she rested her hand on top of his head, her hand getting buried in the thick fur.

She scratched him behind the ears, a spot he had told her he liked to be scratched, even if he found it strange when he was in human form. Sylvain let out a small happy whine and his eyes closed.

This, this had to be something right? A breakthrough! She pulled her hand back and walked backwards until she was over the line. Sylvain sat up and his tail thumped back and forth behind him. “I’ll be back tomorrow Sylvain,” she promised.

He bobbed his head up and down before padding back to his hay bed in the back of the cell.

That didn’t just happen right? Did he just nod to her to acknowledgement? Could Sylvain be truly returning to them? She knew she had to tell Felix right away so she hurried to his office. If he wasn’t out on patrol, he was stuck in that room doing some paperwork or another. It was weird to think of the boy back at Garreg Mach that loved swords and training would be able to sit still and do mundane deskwork for long. Alas, Felix was not as excited about Bernadetta’s revelation as she was.

“You did what Bernie!?” Felix slammed his hands on the table, causing her to jump. For a moment her mind fled to her childhood when her father used to do that when he was cross with her but as quickly as the memory came on it faded.

“I know it was reckless and stupid but it worked! He didn’t attack me and he was willing to let me pet him. That has to mean Sylvain is in there. Or he’s calm enough now that he realizes that I’m not a threat to him.”

Felix rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You could have been attacked Bernie,” he snapped. “Sylvain is a wild animal right now, sometimes they will feign innocence in order to lure you in and then strike at a moment’s notice. You’re lucky he didn’t do that to you.”

“I know but it felt…right?” Bernadetta grimanced. “It’s hard to explain but it reminded me of how Sylvian was when we were at Garreg Mach Academy. I don’t know how much of his Sylvain mind is in there but I knew he was calm enough that I could approach. I was ready to flee at a moment’s notice if needed Felix. I’m good at that.”

“Oh I remember.” He rolled his eyes, probably remembering the same thing Bernadetta did. He sighed. “Well I should probably trust your judgement on this matter, that’s why you were brought here after all. But still, be careful Bernie. He’s still a wild animal. He isn’t a boar but a wolf is just as dangerous.”

“I will be,” promised Bernadetta.


	4. Chapter 4

Apparently Sylvain’s goodwill to Bernadetta didn’t extend to anyone else. When Felix tried to step over the line, Sylvain tried to attack him. This even happened if Bernadetta stood near the bars. He would ignore her and attack anyone else that tried to get close, even if she tried to soothe him and tell him it was okay. Now he always gently took the meat from her hands instead of swiping it from the air and he ate slowly while she set up her station to read the story for the day.

“You know Sylvain, perhaps I should tell a different kind of story today.” She sat cross-legged in front of the cell. Sylvain sat on the other side, directly parallel to her. “King Dimitri is going to be visiting. He wants to see how you are doing, apparently he feels really guilty about what happened.”

If Sylvain understood her words he didn’t give any indication of doing so.

“So maybe I’ll talk a little bit about our time back at Garreg Mach. Maybe to spark a memory or two?”

Sylvain whined in response.

“I don’t know what that means but I hope it’s a yes.” She began relaying some stories from their time at the academy. Mostly funny stories of some of the chores they had to do or some of the crazy exercises the professor put them through. Just lighthearted stories of all of the good times that were had. Sylvain notably was acting different than he usually did. Instead of appearing half asleep, he was staring straight at her, his brow furrowed, head tilted slightly like he was trying to figure out a puzzle of some kind.

“Do you remember any of this Sylvain?” she asked after she finished telling him about the Garreg Mach ball. She had spent most of the time in the corner of the room, munching on snacks. Sylvain had come over to check on her multiple times through the night and he even convinced her to do one dance with him. That had been the most fun she had ever had at a party.

Sylvain opened his jaw and yawned but gave no indication either way. He clamped his jaw shut, the focus on something behind Bernadetta.

She glanced back and was startled to see Dimitri and Felix standing there. Dimitri was well put together, his clothing well fitted in blue and gold, a far cry from the stories she heard of the boar prince that tore through the countryside with a fur pelt, destroying everything in his wake with his lance.

“Amazing, he’s so calm around you,” said Dimitri.

***

_It was him._

_That was the man that caused the pain. The man was the one who put Sylvain in pain. He was the enemy, the danger, unsafe. He was everything wrong rolled into one. He was the true enemy, the true horror and pain._

_“It took a lot of work to get here,” said Bernie. Sylvain had picked up her name from the other man, the one that fed Sylvain on occasions. Felix was his name._

_“Stay back here,” said Felix. “She is the only one that’s able to go over the line. He attacks anyone else.”_

_“Well then, I feel foolish for not coming to you sooner Bernadetta.”_

_“It’s alright,” she stammered. She stood. “I’ll be right back Sylvain, we need to talk for a bit.”_

_No. She was moving towards him. Towards the bad man that caused Sylvain pain. He could picture the man grabbing Bernie and tossing her in a war, demanding she kill and pour the blood of his enemies into the ground. Locking Bernie in a cage when she tried to fight back, only letting her free to do battle and even after that, forced back into a cage._

_He didn’t want that for Bernie._

_His hand shot out of the cage, grabbed Bernie by the shoulder and quickly pulled her back towards him. She let out a cry of alarm as her back slammed into the bars of the cage and Sylvain shifted forward, his arm now around her shoulders so he could keep her close. He growled low and threateningly, his lips curled back to show his fangs. That man will not take Bernie away from him!_

***

It took Bernadetta a few seconds to process what had just happened. One moment she was walking towards Dimitri and Felix, the next, she felt Sylvain grab her shoulder and yank her backwards. She let out a cry of pain as her back smacked into the bars. Sylvain’s arm shifted so it was around her upper chest, his claws digging into her shoulder, the grip so tight she thought she heard her bones creak.

Above her, Sylvain growled. Much different than his usual warning growl, this was louder. A quick glance up and she saw his muzzle was above her, his ears flattened against his skull, his eyes full of anger and malice. Following his line of sight, she realized he was looking at Dimitri.

Felix cursed and drew his sword. “Hold on Bernie. Can I get some help here!” he yelled behind him.

“If only I brought my lance with me,” growled Dimitri.

“Hang on a moment!” cried Bernadetta, realizing what was going to happen if she didn’t intervene. She shakily lifted up her free hand and reached as high as she could in her current position, which was the side of Sylvain’s face. Since he had to hold onto her, he needed to kneel a bit to do so. “Sylvain, it’s okay, calm down,” she said softly. “Dimitri isn’t going to hurt me, it’s okay. Everything is fine.” She repeated the words over and over again, her hand gently patting his fur.

It took a couple tense minutes but Sylvain’s growls faded and he looked down at her. “It’s okay,” she repeated. “It’s okay. You can let me go, it’ll be fine. I’ll read you another story tomorrow.”

She moved her hand away from his head and put it over his large wolf hand that clutched her shoulder and gently pried his fingers off. Thankfully he didn’t resist and she took a step back and then another from the cell. “I’ll be fine Sylvain, it’s okay.”

Sylvain sat on the ground and stared at her. He whined. The whine he would sometimes give her when he wanted another story at the end of the night. She had dubbed it his, “don’t go” whine.

“I’ll be back soon, okay Sylvain?” She stepped out of the clock tower, Felix and Dimitri following close behind her.

“Are you already Bernadetta?” asked Dimitri, giving her a once over.

“I’m okay.” She lifted her arm and winced as her shoulder ached at the movement. She pulled back her shirt and could already see a large bruise was beginning to form.

“We’ll talk in my office,” said Felix. “You go see the healer Bernie.”

She wanted to argue that she was fine but her back was starting to ache and she really hoped she had not cracked a rib.

Thankfully the healer determined Bernadetta’s injuries to just be bruises, the worst one being her shoulder where there was an imprint of Sylvain’s hand. Five tiny pinpricks dotted her skin where his nails had dug into her shoulder but it was obvious he wasn’t trying to injure her more than protect her. Her back bruises were in the shapes of the bars but they weren’t as bad as her shoulder. Apparently she had gotten lucky, if Sylvain had bothered to use his full force, she might have ended up with a broken rib or worse, a broken spine.

After getting fixed up with some poultices for the swelling and swallowing some herbs to help with the pain, she hurried to Felix’s office.

“We need to put him down,” said Dimitri as Bernadetta walked in.

“What?” She looked at Dimitri in shock and then at Felix, who was leaning against his desk. Like Dimitri, his expression was also grim. “You…you can’t.”

“Bernadetta, we need to be reasonable, he attacked you,” said Dimitri. “I know you two were friends.”

Bernadetta shook her head stubbornly. “He was okay until, I’m sorry to say, your majesty, until you showed up. I think he was trying to protect me from you.”

“What do you mean?” Felix frowned.

“Well, from what I know, you were the one that sent him into battle your majesty, you were the one that forced him to fight in the first place.”

Dimitri winced at Bernadetta’s words. “That….that is true.”

“Well, I think Sylvain might have been worried about me. That’s why he pulled me back. It wasn’t to hurt me but it protect me from you.”

“It did look like that but how can you be sure Bernie?” asked Felix.

She gestured to her injured shoulder. “I barely have any claw marks on me and the healer said the injuries to my back could have been much worse if he pulled me back at full strength. He didn’t though. And I was able to get him to let me go and walk out of there. And I think he was worried about me going with you, he did his ‘don’t go’ whine.”

“He has a ‘don’t go’ whine?” Dimitri looked at Felix for confirmation.

Felix shrugged. “Bernie has gotten better at understanding him. I wouldn’t be surprised that he does have one.”

“So uh, don’t think about putting him down or anything. I...I’ll get him back,” she stammered.

Dimitri sighed and touched his eyepatch. “The professor did say you would be like this. I just didn’t believe her.”

“Like what?”

“Stubborn about helping him. She said that if I tried to suggest putting Sylvain down you would retaliate and tell me why not to do that.”

The professor said all that? Bernadetta looked down at her feet. Well, the professor was very astute. Bernadetta remembered many times when there were paired assignments, Byleth would pair Bernadetta and Sylvain together. She always played it off as just random luck but Bernadetta had a feeling Byleth did it so Bernadetta wouldn’t have to suffer the worry about having to find a partner.

“I am willing to have you continue to try Bernie but Felix, you’re a great solider and a close friend and you are spending so long up here in the middle of nowhere…”

Felix shook his head. “I promised Sylvain I will keep an eye on him and if it comes down to it, I will kill him if need be.” He nodded at Bernadetta’s shocked expression. “He made me promise him that back when he still had a part of his mind left.”

A knock came from the door and one of the soldiers of the fort poked his head in. “Uh, excuse me, the wolf has not quieted down so I thought it would be best to bring it to your attention.”

“What do you mean he has not quieted down?” asked Dimitri.

“He’s been howling almost non-stop. It started soon after you three left the yard.”

Without hesitation, Bernadetta hurried out of the room and ran towards the yard. As she got closer, she could now hear the howls and it was almost deafening once she reached the yard and the open door of the clock tower. A sorrowful, mourning cry that reverberated into the stones and chilled the air. Like something was lost.

***

_Bernie was gone. The evil man had taken her._

_She said she was fine. She promised she would be back but Sylvain knew that man. That man was cruel, he would not let her come back. He would drag her onto the battlefield and force her to fight until she didn’t want to anymore. He would make her see terrors that would haunt her dreams for years to come._

_He pressed against the bars, trying to push himself through them. That didn’t work. He grabbed the metal bars and tugged but like always they didn’t move._

_Bernie was gone. She wasn’t coming back, she was never coming back. Sylvain would never hear her stories again._

_He sat on his haunches, lifted his head to the sky and howled. “Bernie!” he howled. “Give Bernie back! I want Bernie!”_

_As soon as his breath faded, he took in another and howled again. “Bernie! Bernie is gone forever! Bernie!”_

_“Sylvain! Why are you howling?”_

_He clamped his mouth shut and turned to the doorway in disbelief. There she was. Bernie. She looked fine, the evil man had not done anything to her._

_He reached through the bars towards her and whined. “Bernie! You’re okay!”_

_She slowly approached until she was within range and then took a few more steps until she was right up against the bars. He put his arms around her in a hug and rested as much of his jaw as he could on top of her head through the bars. He wished those metal bars weren’t there, for some reason this was something familiar to him although he was not sure why._

_He noticed her wince in pain and he smelled the bitter tangs of herbs on her. She winced more if he tightened his grip on her back and with his strong sight, he noticed bruising on her shoulder. The same shoulder he had grabbed her earlier._

_He whined as he released her and gently rested a finger on her shoulder. He did that, he caused her to hurt._

_“This? I’m okay now Sylvain, I took some medicine. I know you didn’t mean it, you were just trying to protect me from Dimitri.”_

_He sat down on his haunches and lowered his head, his ears flat and forward, his tail drooping. “I’m sorry Bernie,” he whined._

_She scratched the back of his head. “It’s okay Sylvain, I know you didn’t mean it. Are you calmer now? I need to get back and check on Felix and Dimitri. We were talking about you, you know? I had to run out since you were howling but you are calm now right? You’ll be okay until I’m back tomorrow?”_

_He barely understood half her words but he understood the important bit. She would be back tomorrow, she wasn’t going to leave him forever! The evil man wouldn’t take her away. He nodded._

***

“Amazing,” said Dimitri as Bernadetta walked out of the tower and was surprised to see Felix and Dimitri waiting for her in the yard.

“I told you, she knows what she’s doing.” Felix crossed his arms. “Any idea to why he was howling like that?”

“I think he was worried about me.” She looked at Dimitri. “Since I left with you, I think he thought you were going to do something to me. He calmed down once he saw me again and he looked a lot calmer when I said I would definitely be back tomorrow with a story.”

“Fascinating,” said Dimitri. “He’s able to understand your words?”

“Just her. If I speak to him at all, he ignores me.” Felix rolled his eyes.

“I think it would be best for your majesty to not be near him until I can get more of his mind back,” Bernadetta said softly. “He’ll be able to understand you are different then.”

“It looks like that will have to be the case.” Dimitri sighed. “I’ve been sadly wanting to apologize for everything I put him through. But if you think things are going well then I can wait.”

“You’re falling asleep on your feet Bernie, go get some rest,” said Felix. “The boar and I have other matters to discuss.”

“Yeah…” Bernadetta didn’t bother fighting the comment, the events of the day finally catching up to her and she was feeling a dull ache in her shoulder and back. Some rest would definitely do her good now.


	5. Chapter 5

Dimitri left early the next morning and the fort quickly returned to its usual rhythm, although now the soldiers that usually stood outside the cell were relieved of that duty. Sylvain was calm enough that there was no need to have someone standing outside while Bernadetta met with him.

Bernadetta had to agree with that, now she sat with her back to the bars and read the stories. Sylvain would either peer over her shoulder or lie down next to her. He also now had the habit of reaching his hand out of the cell and rest it next to her. She would meet his expectant eyes in confusion, not sure why he was doing it until the one time she rested her hand close to his. He gently took it in his own, a low happy rumble leaving his throat.

“Really Sylvain? You just wanted to hold my hand?” She should have expected that to be honest. Sylvain was a touchy-feely sort of guy, the complete opposite of her. She didn’t mind whenever he would throw his arm over her or pull her close to him when they sat next to each other or give her quick hugs or hold her hand at random times. That was just the sort of person he was. For Sylvain to now want that connection, she really hoped he was getting closer and closer to returning to the boy she knew.

“There you are, I was looking everywhere for you.” Felix found her in the kitchen eating supper one night. She still did not feel comfortable eating her meals with the soldiers and the cook was much better company. Without question, she would give Bernadetta her meal and she didn’t bother with pleasantries, going back to work to make sure the soldiers and staff of the fort were well-fed.

Bernadetta swallowed the piece of bread she was chewing and rested her bowl of stew on the nearby counter as Felix pulled a key out of his pocket and handed it to her.

“What is this?”

“A key to Sylvain’s cell.”

Bernadetta’s eyes widen as she stared at the black metal key in her hand.

“I’ve been wanting to give you one for a while now but I had to wait until I went home to get a copy made.” He gestured to his own key. “This is the only other key there is.”

“Thank you for trusting me with this,” she stammered.

Felix shrugged. “It was obvious you should have one. I don’t know if he’s ready to be taken out of the cage yet but it’s obvious he has calmed down a lot with you here. I can even feed him and he doesn’t act like a rabid animal anymore.”

True. Recently, much to everyone’s surprise, Sylvain would gently take the meat from Felix’s hands. He still would not let Felix get close but it was a start.

“You think soon we don’t have to drug him to give him his bath?” asked Bernadetta.

“I hope so. Especially with winter approaching. Bathing him outside in winter does not sound fun.” Felix shook his head.

Ugh, Bernadetta didn’t even want to think about that. Whenever she went outside, she wore at least three layers, two of the layers being coats. Sylvain’s cell also did not retain much heat and sometimes she couldn’t feel her fingers by the time she was done telling him a story. At least Sylvain always sat close to her and despite the bars separating them, he radiated warmth and some it managed to transfer to her.

A couple days after getting the key, which she now wore around her neck, she went to his cell for her usual visit. The cook had warned her over breakfast to keep it short today, a storm was brewing and they would be probably be in for a blizzard. Looking up at the cloudy sky, it didn’t look like it was going to snow but it did feel like it. Bernadetta pulled her jackets tighter and adjusted her scarf as she walked into the clock tower.

“Hi Sylvain.”

He scrambled to his paws and he released a happy whine. After giving him his meal, she sat in her usual spot, her back against the bars and opened her notebook of stories. “Cook told me there’s going to be a blizzard so only a quick story today, okay?”

She didn’t know if he understood as he settled into his usual spot and peered up at her. Today she decided to go with a short story she wrote a few years ago. It was a simple story about a girl looking for a magic pebble and how she looked high and low for it. In the end the girl found the pebble and realized it was in actuality a friend that she was searching for, not a pebble. Yes, it was very blatant to what Bernadetta was going through at the end and the discovery of her friendship with Sylvain. Surprisingly, Sylvain had not seen the parallels himself but she was grateful for that. It was an embarrassing story to share with him.

Sylvain whined as Bernadetta closed the book.

“I’m sorry Sylvain but I have to get going.” She headed for the closed door and pulled it open.

And was immediately met with the white buffering snow. She could barely see more than an inch or two from her face and the wind buffed against her body as she forced the door closed. “Okay, maybe I’m not leaving,” she said with a sigh. “Cook wasn’t kidding about the storms sneaking up on you so fast.”

The stone tower was solid, the walls thick enough that most of the howling winds were silenced but if she listened closely she could make it out. No wonder she didn’t hear it before opening the door. She rubbed her hands together and pulled a pair of mittens out of her pocket. It was already cold in the room and she could feel the temperature dropping.

“Well, hopefully it won’t be a long one, you’ve also told me that sometimes the storm lasts for a couple hours at most.” And other times it would last days. She hoped that wouldn’t be the case. What was she and Sylvain supposed to do then?

No, Felix wouldn’t leave them out here for that long, he cared enough about Sylvain to brave the cold. She was more worried about how she was going to handle it.

***

_Bernie was still here. Usually she would go through the door and leave for the day but Sylvain had seen the white snow blowing around outside. He could probably make it through that just fine but Bernie was small, the wind would probably knock her over._

_She paced back and forth, rubbing her arms as she walked. Her breath came out in small puffs. “It’s pretty cold in here Sylvain…although you’re probably fine, your fur looks quite warm.”_

_Sylvain whined, concern starting to fill him. Bernie looked off. She was shivering a bit, her scent a little fearful. What was she scared of? He looked around the room and sniffed the air but didn’t smell or see anything dangerous. Maybe it was outside? He cocked his ears but couldn’t hear anything beyond the walls besides the snow raging outside. Why was Bernie scared then?_

_Bernie approached his cell, seemingly deep in contemplation._

_Sylvain wagged his tail, his tongue lolling out. Bernie was scared and he wanted to make her feel better. “It’ll be okay Bernie!” he said. “I’m here, I’ll help you.”_

_“This is probably a stupid idea and Felix is going to yell at me for this later.” She reached under the collar of her shirt and pulled out a metal object-a key, Sylvain realized. Why did he know that word?_

_“Sylvain, can you back up a bit?” She gestured with her hand._

_Back up? He moved back until he was almost against the wall and his hay nest._

_Bernie set the key into the cell door and with a soft click, the door opened. Sylvain’s eyes widen as she slowly opened the door of his cell, watching his cautiously as she did so. Bernie could open his cell? She was amazing!_

_He wagged his tail at her cautious look, not really understanding why she was so nervous._

_“Well the fact you didn’t try to run me down as I opened the door is probably a good sign.” She stepped into the cell and shut the door behind her and he heard another soft click._

_Sylvain didn’t care too much about that. Bernie was in the cell with him! She was right here! She slowly moved over to him. “It’s very cold outside Sylvain and you would usually let me lay on you on the cold days because you’re always very warm.”_

_Lay on him? Wait, he knew what that meant! Sylvain got comfortable on his nest and looked at Bernie expectantly. She looked really cold though, despite all those clothes she was wearing._

_“Maybe you do remember after all,” she said softly before ever so slowly walking up to him. She sat on the nest, before leaning into his side. Without thinking, Sylvain draped his tail over her. There! Now Bernie can be warm!_

_“You do remember.” She looked at his face. “Do you remember anything else Sylvain? Anything about yourself?”_

_He just stared blankly at her. What in the world was she talking about? What else was there to remember? Although, it was strange that he got a sense of familiarity from this, like he had done this many, many times before in the past. Also, the rage that used to consume him before didn’t seem to be there as much anymore. Sometimes the memories of those dark times came up in waves but they weren’t as potent as before, especially with Bernie here. She was safe, she was comforting, she was familiar._

_Why was she familiar?_

_He turned that thought over and over again. “Bernie, why are you familiar?” he asked._

_No response._

_Glancing at her, he saw her eyes were closed, her breathing slowed, body relaxed. He blinked, she had fallen asleep? Watching her sleep, the sense of familiarity hit him again. This had happened before. When? He couldn’t find it though in the abyss in his mind._

_Not liking where his thoughts were going, he rested his head on his paws and decided to take a nap himself._

***

“Bernie!?”

Bernadetta jerked awake, her soft, warm, and hairy pillow confusing her for a moment. Glancing outside the cell, she was surprised to see Felix standing there, traces of snow on his clothes.

Oh Seiros, she was in Sylvain’s cell! “Uh, hi Felix?” she said weakly, pulling away from Sylvain. Sensing her stir, he opened his eyes and looked at her and then at Felix.

“What is going on here?!” he snapped. “Why are you in there!?”

Sylvain emitted a low warning growl, his tail resting over Bernadetta’s lap.

Felix gave Sylvain a deadpan look. “I’m not threatening her okay?”

Bernadetta patted Sylvain’s flank. “It’s okay Sylvain, Felix is just worried about me.”

Sylvain whined and looked at her with wide eyes that seemed to ask, _“Are you sure?”_

“I’ll be back later Sylvain. Stay here okay?” She slowly got up but thankfully he listened to her and did not move as she unlocked the door from inside the cell, stepped out and locked it behind her. Felix was waiting behind the line and it was obvious he was trying to hold back a lecture as he cautiously glanced at Sylvain still lying on his nest.

“So…uh, it was fine,” she stammered to him.

“I can see that,” grumbled Felix. He tossed a piece of meat at Sylvain before leading the way out of the tower.

Bernadetta stepped out and gasped at the blanket of snow that covered everything. Soldiers were already hard at work at shoveling it out of the main walkways.

“I was worried since I couldn’t find you in your room and was worried you might have been freezing out here. Wasn’t expecting you to be sleeping in Sylvain’s cell.”

“We’ve done it before-back in the academy days I mean. I know it was a risk but he’s been gentle with me and I thought it would help his memory a bit. He put his tail over me without me asking Felix. Sylvain used to do that all the time.”

Felix rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I really have to remember you went through the Officer’s Academy with us and you are calling the shots regarding him. Do you think you can go into his cell all the time now?”

“I think so.” Bernadetta thought for a moment. “No, I know I can. When I told him to back up, he did it without issue and he didn’t try to run out the door when I opened the cell. At least with me, he’s okay with it.” She wrung her hands together. “I think we’re really getting there Felix. He’s coming back.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” Felix sighed. “Good job Bernie. For now, go see Cook to get some food and some rest in your room.”

As Felix mentioned that, she could feel her stomach beginning to rumble.

***

Nowadays Bernadetta read Sylvain stories in the cell with him. It was way more comfortable than sitting outside the cell, the stone floor seeping cold into her legs. Felix got a couple more torches implemented right outside the cell so she could comfortably read to him without straining her eyes. The fact that Sylvain didn’t lash out as the torches were put in was shocking to Felix, along with the few soldiers that set it up.

It also probably helped that Bernadetta sat in the cell with him while it was happening.

“I’m really starting to run out of stories Sylvain,” she said with a sigh as she closed the book, the current day’s story at an end. He whined and looked at her with wide puppy eyes. “No, you aren’t getting another story, all I really have left are the short stories I wrote a long time ago. And besides, it’s time for you to try to leave your cell today.’

He tilted his head slightly.

“Yes, you’re going to go outside Sylvain.”

Felix opened the door and stepped inside, a harness and leash in hand. “We’re ready outside.” He stepped up to the line and tossed the collar and harness towards her.

Bernadetta got up and opened the cage door and grabbed the two items. They had debated back and forth on letting Bernadetta lead Sylvain with or without it but in the end, they decided it was safer to have the harness on him. It would be easier to control him if things got out of hand. Could she even get it on him though?

She turned to him, showing him the objects. “You need to wear these Sylvain otherwise you’re not going to be allowed outside.”

He just sat on his bed, watching her curiously. No sign of aggression or him getting upset, good. She slowly approached and opened the harness. “Sylvain? Can you put your legs in here for me?” It took a bit of coaxing on her part but thankfully he listened to her and set it his legs in the harness. He tried to shake out his body and whined as Bernadetta tightened it around his back but thankfully didn’t lash out or look super distressed about it.

Bernadetta attached on the leash. “Okay, come on now Sylvain.” She walked towards the door of the cage and Sylvain followed close behind her. As she stepped out, she felt him stop and she looked back to see he had stopped in the doorway of his cell, his ears pulled back slightly, eyes slightly wide. He let out a weak whine.

“What’s going on Bernie?” asked Felix from the line.

“I’m not sure.” Bernadetta tugged on the leash. “Come on Sylvain, we’re going outside.”

Sylvain whined again but didn’t budge.

Could it be that he knew he wasn’t allowed outside? She walked over to him and gently scratched the back of his head. “It’s okay Sylvain. You can come out. It’ll be okay.” She rested her hand on his shoulder. “Come on. Take a step.”

His whine was edging into a growl and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Felix reaching for his sword. “Sylvain, I wouldn’t lead you to danger right?”

He whined and then nodded.

“Come on then Sylvain. Here I’ll hold your hand if you want.”

Sylvain’s huge hand completely engulfed hers but he didn’t hold it tight enough to hurt her. She took a step towards Felix. “Come on Sylvain, just take a step, one single step. Good! Now take another.”

It was painstakingly slow but Sylvain finally made it to the line on the floor. Felix had backed up towards the door to give them more room. Sylvain stopped at the line, his head bowed low and a whine left his throat, his body shaking.

“That’s okay Sylvain, you did very good. I’m proud of you.” She gave him an awkward side hug with her one free hand. “We can try again tomorrow.” She led him back to the cage and undid the harness.

Once off, he shook himself off and retreated back to his bed, curling into a ball, his ears pulled back against his head. “I’ll be right back, I promise,” she said, closing the door and hurrying over to Felix.

“Why didn’t you have him keep going?” Felix crossed his arms while he leaned against the doorframe. “We had the courtyard cleared out for this.”

“I don’t think he’s ready yet for that,” said Bernadetta. “Just having him take a couple steps out of the cage was scary for him.” She wrung her hands together, remembering parts of her own past. “I think the cage is a safe space for him now, everything outside is dangerous. Getting him up to the line was probably as far as I could push him. I think it’s going to take some time for him to be comfortable enough to go outside.”

“Damn,” grumbled Felix.

“It should be fine,” stammered Bernadetta. “I mean, if we take it slow, it will reduce the risk of him lashing out.”

“I didn’t mean it like that Bernie.” Felix sighed. “It was more of a ‘damn’, Sylvain has gotten really messed up from all of this. I know you’re doing your best to fix it.” He gestured to the cage. “Anyway, I won’t take too much of your time, I know Sylvain probably wants you near him, he’s looking at us with that sad, worried look.”

Glancing back, Bernadetta had to agree with Felix’s description. “Alright, alright, I’m coming Sylvain.”


	6. Chapter 6

_“You’re doing great Sylvain, one more step.”_

_Sylvain pressed his ears against his head, his eyes pleading with Bernie. “I can’t do it Bernie!” he whined. He could smell the world behind the doorway. Smells that he recognized from long ago but could barely recall what they were or what they looked like. It was scary out there, dangerous even. His cage was safe, it was dark and nothing could hurt him in there._

_“Sylvain, I know you can do it.” Bernie put her hands on either side of his face and looked him in the eye. “Trust me Sylvain.”_

_He did trust her. Bernie was safe like the cage. She was always consistent, always stable, always reading him stories and giving him head scratches. If she said it was fine, then it had to be fine right? He reached for her hand and she offered it._

_She took a step back so she was in the sunlight, the leash of the harness wrapped around an arm. “Come on Sylvain.”_

_He cautiously stepped forward, feeling the warm sun on his fur for the first time in a long while. The sky was clear above, the smell of snow in the air. It was so open though. Fear pulsed through him, the enemy could come from anywhere, the unique smells bombarding his noise._

_“Good job Sylvain.” Bernie stepped back into the room and Sylvain was quick to follow. As soon as he was out of the open air, his body relaxed. It wasn’t dangerous in here. She scratched the back of his head. “You did so well Sylvain. I know that must have been hard for you but you managed to go outside for a few seconds!”_

_Sylvain wagged his tail. He was happy Bernie was happy. Even if it was super scary out there. “Is it story time?” he whined._

_Bernie rolled her eyes. “You’re asking for a story aren’t you?” She unclipped the leash and removed the harness. Sylvain bounded back into the cell and sat on his bed, his tail wagging, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth. “Story time Bernie! Story time!” he whined._

_“I’m coming Sylvain! Slow down.”_

***

Winter went on for way too long in Faerghus. It should have been spring by now but no, winter still had a tight grip on the countryside and Bernadetta was getting really tired of waking up every morning with cold fingers and toes. Well, the one positive was that Sylvain was finally able to stand in the court yard. It took weeks of coaxing and slow exposure but he was finally able to comfortably sit in the courtyard without looking so scared and on guard. Next week, Felix thought they would try to give him a bath without drugging him.

Bernie hoped Sylvain would be able to bath himself. He had expressed some intelligence in his eyes and the fact that he was starting to be less like a huge fluffy wolf and more human-like made the idea of bathing him…weird.

Well either way, she had to take him out for his daily walk in the courtyard. She hurried to the clock tower, noting that it was probably a little earlier than her usual time. Sylvain was surprisingly still asleep on his bed, a soft whine leaving his throat, his arms and legs twitching.

“Sylvain?” she asked softly.

No response.

She opened the cell door, now kept unlocked since he had displayed enough rational thought to not leave without being escorted by Bernadetta. Now closer, she could see his ears were pressed against his skull, a growling slipping out of him. A nightmare probably.

“Sylvain, hey, it’s okay,” she said softly. Should she try to wake up? Probably right? Obviously it was a nightmare. She reached over and touched his shoulder. “Sylvain! It’s oaky, you can wake up-”

Out of pure instinct to flee, she jumped back as Sylvain lashed out, his claws connecting to the side of her face.

***

_Sylvain was stuck in that place. A field with bloody bodies, enemies coming towards him with a loud battle cry. He needed to fight back, he needed to kill them before they killed him. He tore at them with his claws, his teeth digging into their skin. He would not die, he would fight everyone that tried to kill him!_

_He felt something touch his shoulder and he lashed out, his claws meeting something solid. A cry of pain and Sylvain jerked out of his dream, seeing the familiar cell. His body relaxed, the tenseness of the dream leaving him. It was only a nightmare, he had those sometime-_

_Someone was in the room with him. He turned his head and saw Bernie crouched nearby, her hands pressed against her face. Oh, was it time for his daily walk? He wasn’t one to oversleep._

_Blood._

_He smelled blood on Bernie._

_His lips pulled back into a snarl as he looked around for danger. Who had hurt Bernie!? Why was she bleeding? He then noticed his claws, the blood on them. No. He didn’t…_

_“Bernie?” he whined, as he took a step towards her cautiously._

_“I’m okay Sylvain, I just startled you.” She looked up at him and he could clearly see two long claw marks going down the side of her face._

_He looked down at his claws horrified. He had hurt Bernie!_

_“You didn’t get my eye, I jumped back in time. Sylvain, it’s okay.” She took a step towards him and he scrambled back, almost running to the other end of the cell. He hurt Bernie! He made Bernie bleed!_

_“Felix!” he howled. “Felix, I hurt Bernie!”_

_“Sylvain! It’s okay, you don’t need to howl like that.” She moved towards him and he turned around and used his weight to keep his claws under him._

_“Felix! Felix!”_

_“What in the world is going on here!? Why is he howling Bernie?” Felix stepped into the room. He stopped by the line on the floor, his eyes widen. “Bernie!? Your face!?”_

_Sylvain covered his head with his paws, a memory bombarding him. Something like had happened before. He was talking to a human girl, using his arms to gesture when Bernie had come up behind him. He had not seen her, and he accidently backhanded her. He had been so apologetic almost crying as Bernie told him it was okay and said she knew it was an accident. Something about his form had been different then though. He wasn’t as tall and not hairy but…_

_Why did that matter right now though? He hurt Bernie!_

_He looked up and saw Felix was leading Bernie out of the room. Good, she needed to be away from him. Hopefully she would be okay._

***

Felix was definitely pissed.

Bernadetta slowly closed the door to his office, trying to delay the inevitable as much as possible. The side of her face itched from the poultice and the bandages over it. She was also half blind due to the bandages having to cover her eye because the claw marks went from her jaw up to her forehead on the left side. Thankfully her eye was okay. Sylvain would probably not be able to handle the guilt of causing her to lose the eye.

“Sorry, my depth perception is off,” she murmured as she struggled to sit down in the chair.

Felix rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Give me a reason to not yell at you right now.”

“It wasn’t Sylvain, it was me. He was having a nightmare and I tried to wake him up and well, I probably should have done that because he lashed out in his sleep. I moved back in time so he didn’t get me in the eye at least.”

“He didn’t, but he did hurt you Bernie,” said Felix.

“On accident,” she insisted. “And he felt horrible about it, I know. He immediately started howling when he saw what he did. I think he was calling for you Felix since he didn’t know what to do.”

“I thought so too. I did find it weird he was howling when I knew he was with you so I assumed something must have gone wrong.”

Bernadetta nodded. “I need to go over there and see him so he knows I’m okay. This probably really traumatized him and I don’t want him to take too many steps back. He’s coming back Felix, I know he is.”

Felix’s shoulders slumped. “Bernie, please focus on yourself too. I saw it with the boar and again with Sylvain. Focus on making sure you are okay, alright.”

“I will, don’t worry Felix.” Bernadetta got up and hurried out of the room.

***

_He hurt Bernie._

_He made Bernie bleed._

_How could he do that? He was a horrible person._

_Person?_

_What a weird thought. Sylvain was not a person, he was a wolf. Or was he? Why did he have the nagging feeling there was something he was forgetting…_

_A familiar scent wafted into his nose and he looked up, his initial happy response giving way to despair. It was Bernie. The left side of her face was covered in bandages and smelled of bitter herbs._

_“Sylvain, don’t hide your face from me!”_

_“No, go away Bernie, I hurt you,” he whined, covering his head with his paws. He heard her step into his cell and approach him. Her hand rested on his shoulder and he tried to move away without pushing her away._

_“Sylvain, stop that! I’m okay. It’s just a flesh wound. Look at me, please.”_

_Sylvian peeked his head and wanted to howl in despair. She looked so tired, the bandages looking worse up close._

_“Sylvain!” She put her hands on either side of his face and made him look at her. “I’m fine. Yes, it might take some time to heal but it’s okay. I’m okay. Are you okay though? I know you’re probably feeling guilty about what happened and I can’t stop you from feeling guilty but I don’t blame you Sylvain. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. Do you understand?”_

_Her words made sense to him but it didn’t stop the pooling dread from the pit in the pit of his stomach._

Her father will probably punish her for this.

_Where did that thought come from? Sure, he knew Bernie most likely had a father but Sylvain had never met him before._

_“Sylvain, are you listening?”_

_He snapped back to the present and looked Bernie in the eye and slowly nodded his head._

_“Good.” She released him and pulled a notebook from her satchel. “I think a walk probably would not be a good idea today, especially since I can’t see anything at all on that side so why don’t I read you a story instead?”_


	7. Chapter 7

Bernadetta looked at her face in the mirror with a grimace.

“I did my best to attempt to reduce the scarring but…” The healer trailed off in her words and looked away.

“It’s okay, I was expecting it would scar, you did the best you could.” Bernadetta touched the raised flesh on the side of her face. Two long lines, a clean scar but a scar nonetheless. Her mother was going to freak out when she saw Bernadetta after all this was over. Thankfully her dad was no longer of the world of the living because he would have _plenty_ of opinions on these scars.

She stepped out of her room and was glad that this fort was mostly filled with soldiers. Scars were a common sight. She just hoped Sylvain wouldn’t freak out. It took him a few days to be comfortable enough to look her in the face and now he was going to see the result of his claws.

“Sylvain? You awake?” She stepped into the room and saw he was already sitting up, his tail wagging back and forth. His tail froze, and his eyes widen slightly as he seemed to be taking in Bernadetta’s face.

“I finally could get the bandages off,” she said cheerfully as she opened the cell door and stepped into the cell.

Sylvain walked over and stopped in front of her and eh slowly lifted his hand, pausing for a moment.

“It’s okay Sylvain, you can touch if you want.

He gently touched the side of her face, careful to not touch her with his claws as he ran his thumb along the raised skin. A low sorrowful whine left his mouth.

“It’s okay Sylvain, it gives me character as you put it. Or at least that’s how you put the few scars you have from the training exercises back in the day.”

He looked at her with his brow furrowed and he tilted his head slightly. A confused whine.

What was that about? He usually didn’t react like that when she brought up stuff he had said in the past. Unless…

“Are you starting to remember who you are?” she asked numbly. “Like the human you, that went to the Officer’s Academy with me.”

He whined and shook his head. She patted his muzzle. “It’s okay Sylvain, if you’re not ready for it yet. Let’s go for a walk today.” She frowned as he pulled away from her and sat on his nest, his ears drooped.

“You are not going to be upset like this Sylvain, stop it. It already happened and there’s no point in regretting it, all you can do is keep moving forward and for you, it would be to get better and remember everything you forgot.” She gestured to the harness that was kept in the corner of the cage. “Go on. Put it on and let’s go for your daily walk.”

That was another thing she had noticed. He was getting better at using his fingers, almost human-like now. He could even clip on the harness onto himself, only needing her to attach the points that went over his back where he couldn’t reach. He really didn’t need it anymore but it was more for show for the rest of the people in the fort. They didn’t know Sylvain like Felix and Bernadetta did, for them he was just a dangerous wolf.

She did the final clip and wrapped the leash around her arm. “Alright, let’s go Sylvain.”

***

_Sylvain caught himself thinking a lot more recently, remnants of memories being triggered by the littlest thing. A bird fluttering in the sky, Felix going through a sword training routine, Bernie almost tripping as she led him around for his daily walk. He never could remember things in clarity, just vague memories of things like this happening before. There was a whole life before, he knew that. He thought of the stories Bernie had told back when his thoughts weren’t as clear. Stories about a human boy, one who seemed to always flirt with girls, one that was thoughtful when he wanted to be and smarter than he lead on. A human boy that was also named Sylvain._

_Was he Sylvain?_

Sylvain looked down at his paws. He was Sylvain Gautier. He had fought in a war for Dimitri, fought in this werewolf form, his memories getting trapped behind a wall as a result. His werewolf curse was still active and strong as ever, there had been no time to find a cure for it.

His ears flickered as he heard the door open and Bernie stepped in, meat under an arm. He could smell it from here, something fresh, something killed this morning. It made his stomach rumble but his mind recoiled back. He hated having to eat raw flesh in this form.

“Good morning Sylvain.” She opened the cage door and stepped inside. “Breakfast. The hunters caught it this morning, it’s super fresh as you can probably tell.”

He could and he didn’t want it, no matter what his rumbling stomach said.

“Everything alright Sylvain?” Bernie held up the meat.

Sylvain shook his head and backed up a step. Please no.

“What’s wrong?” She stared at him with her brow furrowed. “You usually grab it from my hands.”

“No way Bernie.” He shook his head and let out an annoyed grow, his words coming out in a whine. His vocal cords didn’t work like this. He winced as he saw her look at him in concern. That’s right, he never growled at her like that. “I’m sorry,” he whined. He backed up as Bernie set the meat under his nose. Ugh, the smell of blood was so strong.

He could tell Bernie was starting to get concerned. How in the world was he going to communicate with her!? Wait. He looked down at the stone floor and began tracing out his name, one letter at a time.

“What are you…” Her words trailed off, her eyes widening. She looked at him and then at the letters he was writing.

For good measure, he wagged his tail and wrote out, _“Hi Bernie,”_ with a smiley face on the end.

Her hands covered her mouth. “Sylvain, you…”

He spread out his arms and despite his larger stature, he almost fell over as Bernie tackle-hugged him, her arms grabbing his fur tightly, her face buried into his chest. Sylvain hugged her back just as tight, resting his head on top of hers.

***

“You had us worried about you for far too long Sylvain.” Felix gave Sylvain a light thump in the arm. Sylvain blew out air from his nose and rolled his eyes before reaching out and ruffling Felix’s hair.

“Stop that.” Felix whacked Sylvain’s arm away in annoyance.

Bernadetta had to smile as the two of them bantered back and forth, similar to how they did back at the academy when Sylvain had shifted into his wolf form.

“So it’s great that you’re now back to your senses and all but you’re still a bit, hairy,” Felix gestured to Sylvain’s form.

Sylvain looked at Bernie.

“Well, we can probably do it the same way as I did it before. It might take longer though since you’ve been in the wolf form for so long…”

Sylvain nodded.

“Well I’ll leave that to you two then.” Felix stood and adjusted his ponytail, obviously trying to get all the bobby pins back in place. “I trust you Sylvain but I know everyone else here would be nervous to have you walking around in that form so you’re going to need to stay in the cage until you can shift back to a human.”

Sylvain sighed but nodded.

“We’ll figure out Sylvain, like I said, we’ll just do it the same as before. We got you out of the wolf form once, we can do it again!” said Bernadetta.

***

Of course that was easier said than done. Spring was finally starting to peek its head out but Sylvain was still stuck as a wolf. Bernadetta had tried everything. All of the meditation techniques, all of the random tips and tricks and they even had Mercedes come by and attempt to use her healing magic to see if that would work.

“Felix got a letter from Dimitri that the next set of books are on their way and should probably get here by the end of the week.” Bernadetta slowly scratched the back of Sylvain’s head, which was currently lying in her lap. It was a warmer day so after a walk around the fort, Bernadetta decided to sit on a bench for a bit and enjoy the sun. Sylvain sat down next to her but before long he shifted so he was lying down on the bench, his back legs hanging off so he could rest his large wolf head in Bernadetta’s lap. It looked incredibly uncomfortable from Bernadetta’s point of view but he seemed happy with it. Like always, he still wore the harness but it was more for show than anything else, many of the people who worked in the fort having picked up the fact that despite Sylvain’s appearance, he had a human mentality to him.

“Although I don’t know how helpful they will be,” continued Bernadetta. “I think everything he has access to is stuff we’ve read before.”

Sylvain let out a soft whine in response.

“Don’t worry Sylvain, I’m not going to give up. We’ve come this far after all. It’s just frustrating that we’ve come so far and suddenly hit an impasse…” Bernadetta stopped petting him as a thought came to her mind. “Sylvain, do you want to turn back?”

Sylvain lifted his head and looked up at her, his brow furrowed slightly.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m being serious Sylvain. Do you actually want to be human again?”

Sylvain sat up and reached into the satchel that rested on the ground next to him and pulled out the notebook and large charcoal pencil. His hand writing was shaky, partly from the fact that his hands were bigger and, Bernadetta suspected, from not writing for the past five years.

_“I want to be human again Bernie.”_

“I know you do but I meant like deep, deep down. Humans are weaker and stuff than wolves and well…” She trailed off, and debated if it would be too far to say what was truly on her mind.

_“What is it? I can tell you’re hiding something.”_

She sighed. Of course it wasn’t a surprise that Sylvain would be able to see right through her. “Sylvain, are you scared to be human again?”

He paused and stared down at the notepad. After a couple tense moments he wrote. _“I want to say no but perhaps I am. Although I remember what it is like to be human, that was a long time ago.”_ He ripped the page off the pad and handed it to Bernadetta before continuing. _“What if I can’t be human anymore Bernie?”_

“You can Sylvain.” She put her hands on top of his. “You can and you will. You remembered who you were before, you can do this Sylvain. And I’ll be right here next to you and help you be human again.”

He pressed his ears against his head, his eyes darting to her face for a moment before he looked down at his notepad.

“Sylvain, I told you before, I forgive you for what happened to my face.” She put her hands on either side of his muzzle and forced him to look at her. “Maybe it is selfish of me but I miss you Sylvain. The human Sylvain I mean. I miss hearing your voice and talking to you and your hugs are a little different than when you are a wolf…”

Sylvain rested his hands over hers and nodded slowly. He pulled away and he wrote something on his notepad and handed it to her. _“Let’s try it again.”_

“Okay.”

They returned to the cage and after Sylvain got himself out of the harness, the they sat on the floor of the cell. He pulled her against his chest and she had to push back slightly to avoid getting a mouthful of fur.

“Okay, breathe Sylvain,” she whispered. “Remember your human form. Everything will be okay. I know it’ll be a huge adjustment for you but you can do it. You’re one of the bravest people I know Sylvain. And Felix told me, you partly chose to fight in the war in your wolf form because you wanted to keep me safe. Well I’m safe now Sylvain. I’m Count Varley now and my dad is unable to hurt me anymore either. It’s okay Sylvain, you’re fine.”

What felt like a couple minutes past, and then a few more passed. Maybe he needed more time. That had to be it. She was about to pull away when she felt a slight shift. The fur on Sylvain’s chest was pulling inward, his frame shrinking.

Bernadetta hugged him tighter, not wanting to say anything to ruin the moment. Soon enough though, her head was resting against a bare, human chest.

“Bernie?” croaked a raspy, weak voice.

Bernadetta looked up and had to smile as a haggard yet human Sylvain looked down in her. His red hair was ridiculously long and scruffy, almost reaching his waist. He was also rocking a beard, which Bernadetta was surprised to note looked very good on him. “Hi Sylvain,” she said quietly. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah…” He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck. “Talking is…weird. Also my senses feel off. Like it’s dull. I can’t hear that well or see that well. I guess, human senses.”

“Yeah, we’re not really as perceptive as a wolf I think.”

“No we are not sadly but there are a few things that are easier to see. And feel.” Sylvain’s hand gently cupped her cheek, and he ran his thumb along the scars. “I’m sorry Bernie.”

“I told you Sylvain, it’s fine,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “I forgive you.” 

“I know you said that but…” He yelped. “Wait, I’m naked aren’t I!?”

“Probably. I’m not looking down to check.”

Sylvain glanced down and cursed. “Gahhh! Look away Bernie!”

Bernadetta looked up to the ceiling as Sylvain pulled away from her and scrambled backwards. “I’m going to go get Felix okay?”

“Yes please.”

She got to her feet, careful to not look directly at him. She stopped at the cell door and realized this would probably be the last time she would pass through it.

“Something wrong Bernie?”

She shook her head and then realized he might not have seen it since she was facing away from him. “Just glad to have you back Sylvain, and we have a lot of catching up to do.”


	8. Epilogue

Bernadetta hurried into the parlor, trying to not trip on the hem of her day dress in her haste. “Sorry I took so long, I was in the greenhouse and I needed to wash my hands and my outfit was a mess and…”

“It’s okay Bernie, relax!” said Sylvain with a laugh. He patted the seat next to him on the couch.

Bernadetta sat down next to him and tried to put her frazzled hair into something a little more presentable.

“You look fine Bernie! But here, let me help you out a bit.” Sylvain began running his fingers through her hair. It had been six months since Sylvain had returned to human form and although there were a few small tics, like whining like a wolf when things didn’t go his way, Sylvain had adjusted back to being human most of the time. He still shifted during the full moon and for the first few months, he stayed with Bernadetta during that time, just like they did in their academy days. Thankfully Bernadetta’s mother was quick to adjust having a wolf in her home during those times.

“How’s it been going on the Gautier estate?”

“It’s going good. My brain is fried with all the stuff my dad is throwing at me. So much has changed in the past five years and my parents are still treating me as fragile.” He rolled his eyes. “I know I’m the only heir to the Gautier family fortune but still. There you go Bernie. Your hair looks fine now.”

“How’s it been going with his majesty anyway?”

“Fine. I mean, being on the council is a huge responsibility especially since I’m also now in charge for research on werewolves and finding a cure for it and all. Oh and I’m thinking of putting together a program to help rehabilitate other wolves. Like helping them regain their senses and whatnot.”

“That sounds amazing Sylvain.”

He put an arm around her shoulder and rested his head on top of hers. “You should totally be a part of it Bernie. I mean, you’re pretty much an expert on the subject!”

“I couldn’t,” she stammered. “I was just blundering along during the whole thing.”

“The least of what you were doing is blundering. Felix had many positive stories of how you stood up to him to take care of me. Girl, you have some attitude in there.”

Bernadetta’s face flushed. “It’s just because it was you Sylvain. That’s all.”

“Well think about it a bit. For me?” He batted his eyes at her.

“I will,” she promised. Maybe it would be nice to help out other people affected by werewolf curses…

“Thanks Bernie!” He gave her a quick, tight squeeze.

“I didn’t agree to anything yet,” she protested.

“I know but…” His smile was so bright and happy.

“So why are you here anyway Sylvain? You usually send a message ahead of time and the next full moon is in a week.”

“Oh, right!” Sylvain got up, turned around and kneeled in front of her before taking her hand.

“What are you doing?”

“His majesty sent me to personally escort you to the castle. You will be knighted.”

Bernadetta stared at him. “Huh?”

“You’re going to be knighted Bernie. You get another cool title on top of your ‘count’ title.”

“But why am I being knighted?”

Sylvain gestured to himself. “Cause you saved me Bernie.”

“That’s not…I don’t think that’s a knightable thing.”

“For his majesty it is. He said, that because you worked so hard to bring me back and you gave him the chance to make up for one of the many things he did. I mean, it’s more a title and not much else attached to it but he needs to do it in person.”

“I can’t say no can I?” she sighed.

“I mean you could but don’t worry Bernie, I’ll be with you the whole time!”

“I guess I’ll have to go then…”

“Awesome!” Sylvain stood and gave her a tight hug.

“Sylvain, I can’t breathe!” She cried into his chest.

“Oh sorry! I’m just excited because I can show you the capital. There’s so many fun things to do and there’s a lot of bookshops I know you’ll like. A couple even survived the war, remember, I talked about them back at the academy?”

“Guess I’ll need to pack then.”

“Do you need some help? I might not be a wolf but I got some good muscle on me.” He flexed a bicep.

She giggled. “My room is this way.”

“Lead the way!” Sylvain reached over and took her hand. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”

“You don’t have to be so dramatic about it.”

His grip tightened on her hand. “I’m not being dramatic at all. I mean it Bernie.”

She rolled her eyes as she led him to her room.


End file.
